Rooster tripawed

Its been a slow and pleasant few days since my Sunday hop-walk over to the redheads house and my meat-fest at the place where they serve me human food on a plate, and we have just been kicking back and relaxing and having quite a good time ,except for the same old pill regime that really kinda sucks if you ask me ,but hey whose asking a dog ,I mean they do actually ask us this and that but at the same time knowing we are surely NOT going to say “yeah hey that’s a great idea” or even nod our head yes or no ,or even in the remotest factor make some kind of blinking eye contact coded only known to dog sign system, that would relay the fact that we got everything they were so babyishly trying to communicate to us (though i do understand the usual commands of sit and lay ,up and down ,come and stay ,nice and bad and several others and even my name in both voice and sign language yup i could understand eight different signs by the time I was ten weeks old ,see I told you i was smart) so onward goes this game of stuff the pills ,but i found out that the pills wont get stuffed unless there is food eaten before hand , and knowing food comes in many styles shapes and sizes ,smells tastes and textures , and that the little cupboard holds those little bags of treats (of with which are those lovely Chinese chicken strips laced with poison,but more about that later) and knowing that if i don’t eat the said good for me, natural no grain or Chinese wheat gluten ,designed for a wolf holistic (and really a top above the good stuff i was eating before this whole chain of events became me) food that is always shoved in front of me before pill time that i will be fed treats from the cupboard mentioned above (except for the Chinese dog poisoning conspiratorial chicken jerky strips) I then turn my nose up at just about any conventional dog food ,holistic or not and end up getting a few MADE IN THE USA natural treats ( and these humans think we are just dumb dogs,well except for my pet cause he seems to be on the ball and is up on many of my tricks) . So these last few days when it comes  pill time instead of giving in and just feeding me my treats before the pill stuff the pet has been spoon feeding me a quite lovely canned food that probably cost him more to feed me then what he eats himself and being  the stubborn canine that i am ,I put up a good front and look as grossed out as a human puppy being fed cod liver oil ,until that is the spoon is removed and then I chomp down that delicious food like it was ambrosia, but hey we gotta put up a front or ill never get to live off of just treats alone.So later i sneak back in the kitchen when the pet is not looking and lick that plate clean and head over to the dog food bowl and proceed to eat a small taste of the good bounty it holds.hey even a smart and conniving dog such as I has got to keep up his strength (this hop-walking takes a lot out of a guy),but keeping with my high protein low carb slim weight diet scheme i have always been on i need very little compared to most dogs.But that isn’t what i came to tell you about anyways ,what i came to tell you about is the Chinese conspiracy to poison all the dogs or at least the conspiracy to make their wallets fatter at the expense of the worlds canine population by lacing the dog treats and food that come from over there and ingredients that are sold to even US companies and end up in the dog foods that are consumed by you and me with poison to ether make that last one dime or maybe even worse( they eat dogs over there ya know) So beware when your pet stocks up on that gruel they feed you and if you in even the slightest sense suspect that your manna might be infused with some of this foreign substance then turn you nose up at it and demand (by abstinence and the feline trick of finickiness) a better bowl of grub.But then again that’s really not what i came to tell you , what i came to tell you was about a dream i had the yester (as every day since Sunday i have been laying in the newly grown grass at the back of the barn and snoozing the day away in dreamland) about a Chinese conspiracy to take over the whole world by mean of implanting small but deadly charges of minute explosives in cell phones, I pods and other such media laced devices ,and who in the month of December in the year of 2012 which is ticking away as i dog-blog will through world satellite exposure detonate all of these said devices and therefore giving that fact that there own devices are immune to these signals ,take over what is left of the world. Of course they will have to clean up the mess of exploded human remains, but hey whats a little shoveling in the name of world dominance. So the next time you put the cell phone to your ear or clap on them tiny head phones plugged into the media device of your choice remember about the dream of a lazy over treated over medicated poisoned three legged dog named Rooster .And don’t forget. keep chewing on that shoe( just make sure its not from china ,remember the shoe bomber?)

This entry was posted on Wednesday, February 1st, 2012 at 11:43 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.