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Rooster tripawed
22 Aug 2012


Author: rooster | Filed under: Uncategorized

Rooster Tripawed…..08-18-2006 To 08-20-2012………………RIP my great friend …….I will miss you………….

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Well its been a busy spring here ,and the heat of summer is finally upon us . I really don’t like it as much as the winter ,but the pet seems to function a lot smoother ,and spends a lot more time outside when the weather is fare, and that means more time for me outside . What with the long drawn out days that seem to last forever, i get to stay out into the wee hours of the morning guarding my flock of invisible sheep and staying fast what “hairy eyeballed ruffians ”  may be lurking in the dark looking to create mischief. But most nights it seems to be just me and the stars ,with the occasional rat or mouse and the pet just before bed out hunting them pesky Earwigs ,that seem to love his garden as much as he…………………………………………………………….. So i sit and cherish my Foxhole so to speak that i have singlehandedly pawed out of the dirt for myself , and think back to all of the roosts that i have had the pleasure of manning ,er dogging ………My favorite I would say is here between the corn and the trees ,where i can rest from the early afternoon,sheltered from the searing sun and drying wind by the shade of the trees that surround us here,and slumber right on through the nighttime hours, waiting for a rabbit to just try and raid the garden ,while feeling the warmth of the ground rising up to sooth my weary bones … Another good one was on top of the pets Quad ,which sat at the top of a high rock wall ,but just outside the door to the cabin ,from which i could scan the whole of the cleared area afloat like a ship in the huge forest  that cradled our home of wood and rock, Across the yard from that there is an old pick-nick table sitting under a majestic elderly cherry tree, that made up a real great roost,as it sat overlooking the little unnamed creek we lived most of our life on. And gave us the greatest view of flora and fauna then any other perch Ive seen ,though never as secure a feeling as the previous roost with it log backing and comfortable passenger seat i would curl up on, and feel fine on the coldest of winter morns, but by day was a picture perfect example of just what creatures did hunt and water from our little spring of life.Always bounding night after night and day to follow ,with animals much to vast to even explain  to you here and now . Everything from Squirrels as big as cats, to cats as big as dogs, with the occasional Blue-tipped lizard and Rattlesnake,Newt and frog,Bald eagle and Bear,not to mention the spirits of all the animals past ,that have lived and loved upon that land. Yes dogs believe in ghosts….Ive felt the presence of loving and gentile giants of the past ,from the matriarch Maggie on down through the like of Ogre the Roooing Chow-hound…..Tusker and Trudie, Lucky and Luke ,Blue and Turk, and of course Frankie and Spencer,even though i still don,t care to much for the feline kind…… The pet says he is taking me back up to the mountain, so once more i can set upon my perch ,and rest my weary bones ,amongst the love of the land…….He says its the last trip i will make in my doghouse on wheels,but that he will make sure I’m safe and settled in,and free from this pain that has once again creeped into my body.You see we went back for that next great hopeful check up ,and low and behold our progress had reversed ,and upon having our chest ex-rayed again ,there was found that evil curse that shall surely befall us all,in the form of three “Metts” they call them,though just another worthless word for a bad painful death. But alas ,the pet has insured me that there will be no pain besides the loss of our presence to him and you ,and that the last thing we shall see and hear  will be his face close ,whispering goodbyes and farewells, long before the tears can bust this bubble and give him away………..I don’t know how long this stage that has been set will take to play out,nor just what pain i will endure before my fate is sealed……..I know the pet will try his best to judge and jury these results, before the execution that shall end my days………He says he fears his dog days may be over …..never wanting to have an animal that is in his care … left to an unknown existence…..should he fail to keep afloat in this game of life……If i could talk i would tell him to indeed not falter in finding yet another four legged fur friend ,to sooth his soul, and keep him company in this lonesome life he has chosen to live. So in closing ,I will keep you all posted as to my fight ,It sure has been a grand one ,and if i don’t say so myself, i have done my very best to beat the odds of a very aggressive and growing plague………At this point in life i am kinda looking forward to a bit of a rest ………After all It sure beats a sharp stick in the eye, and what the hell I can’t dance and its to hot to plow…….But what do i know? I’m Just a three legged dog named Rooster……………..

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So one cookie two beers and whammo we got our dog blogger back in working order( see dogblogging ) down there \/ ……. So the yester we went for the Verdict…….and you know they just can’t come out and “Lay it on you” so to speak in a casual fashion , and always seem to leave it up to you, when escorted to that same old room to wait ,and then be told through mere eye contact and facial expressions, that once read offer up the verdict as to whether your gonna get that loan that will further your dreams ,spend the rest of your life in jail , live or die or have a boy or a girl……..So you stand with the verdict already bouncing around the room from the gloom and the vibes penetrating through your already to mushy brain and await the clearing of the throat with the covered hand and the start of the whole “Well it seems to me that……….” . Well i call BULLSHIT. So with this the as yet known vessel that i find myself in ,or had found myself in this yester I awaited the verdict…………..And shit no they couldn’t make it plain and simple, and had to drag it out as though my waiting and worrying would make the crash and dive any better or the lifting of the burden any lighter.So there i sat……So in walked the nurse -whom every one of them ( bless their hearts ) have shown the utmost in professional care and friendship in this whole mess I’ve been wading through these last six months- and said follow me please……..And so off we went. Now through all this mess i have been in (THE BACK) where they keep all the people who in my reckoning are maybe not fit to sit out front and greet the general public ,but who all in all preform all the real MAGIC that happens in this place.The mending of broken bones and dispensing of vital chemicals and love that gets most of us through whatever troubles it is we may have .So i know most of it like the back of my paw (So to speak ). So when they didn’t make the usual left hand turn and took the right hand junction ,it had me a bit worried……….but what do i know about verdicts anyways ….I’m just a dog ,I just follow where I’m led or pull where I’m directed. So off we followed and took another right and a left and ended up at a huge door marked “Private ,No Admittance” and waited as the ever so trustful nurse knocked……..”Come on in ” yelled a voice ,and so entered we did .Well what i beheld upon entering was not what i expected,and being a dog i really never expect much…..The room was small and dark and filled with cigar smoke so dense you could have cut it with a knife ,had i thumbs to hold  such an instrument. And so thick was this smoke that we were unable to even see to the other end of this very small room to identify what creature this command had spewed forth from. So upon feeling our way through the haze we came to a very large wooden desk behind which sat the funniest human i have ever laid eyes upon, and being a regular customer of “The Place” I have seen quite a few.Behind this large desk sat this rather rotund gentleman dressed in the usual (for this place) white cotton knee length coat and sporting on top of his head a rather simple looking ,though slightly out of place green “See Though” visor to with which the top of his rather balding head stuck out of . Upon thinking to myself that he would have looked more at place dealing cards in Vegas or trading goods for money in some back street “Hock Shop”I noticed that his head looked sorta like Charlie Brown ,and also that out of his nose grew a vast quantity of blondish grey hair ,thick as spaghetti and looking more like “Scrubbing Bubbles Bristles” then nose hair struck me quite, and having not the facial features nor proper lips to snicker i simply sighed……….Twas then he stood up and as before mentioned beamed with the simple as yet unsaid sentence that i now appear to be CANCER FREE…………..Yippy …woohooo…….Six long months of being poisoned every 21 days ,being poked with so many NEEDLES that if i could count i would have lost such numbers months ago ,and now I’m looking good……Shit scads better then good…..Seems the chest ex-rays came out clean… sight of cancer in the lungs …..(though for good measure they did recommend one more poisoning ) to with which i am now recovering from…….But hey who am i to complain…….Now its just one more Phlebotomy ritual …..and a switch to some pills and homeopathic remedies, and if all goes well I Will Beat This Fucking Scourge ………….So many have been lost …….and very few in the canine world survive longer then just a few months to this rapid growing Cancer ,so i feel blessed ….But the battle is not over until the fat lady sings ,so onward we go into the next phase of this adventure………..Stay with me folks …..and many thanks to all of you out here and your kind and generous thoughts and prayers……With that I’m gonna turn the pet loose to have another before bedtime beer ……as i know this has weighed on him much more so then I  ,and bid you all a pleasant and good evening…………….I feel quite special to have made it this far ,but what do I know ….I’m just a three legged dog named Rooster ……Hell yes Cock – A – Doodle- Dooooooooooooo……

Howdy Partner how goes it with everyone out here in cyber-land?  Me I’m okay i guess ,been better and surely have been worse. This last round of chemo kicked me in the backside a bit ,but only for a few days . The whole action of them hydrating me has left me running for the John like an old woman,and the John being outside thus requires me to wake up the Pet at all hours so that i may do just such…..He seems a bit perturbed at times, waking up and donning his jacket to let me out to do my business ,knowing that if he lets me serve myself I’ll be out all night barking at shadows and keeping the whole town awake as i set off all the other dogs that live around us and don’t have the luxury of being able to sleep indoors.But alas he seems to understand and has been quite fair and pleasant with me ,other then the fact that i think he is poisoning me .You see I just have not been feeling up to snuff as of late ,and its just happens that he has for some reason started feeding me all kinds of NEW stuff (read poison) and so in retaliation we have refused to eat this NEW stuff . He thought he would be sneaky and mix in my old food with the new but i know the difference in smell ( we dogs have the greatest noses) and so i just pick through the bowl and grab out the good OLD (read non-poisoness) food and flat refuse to eat any of the new treats which makes him have to keep refilling my bowl with the mixture of OLD and NEW and also requires him to FETCH ( ha turned that around on him huh?) some of my old treats ( he has a 30 lb box of Peanut Butter Dog Biscuits stashed away) .So with all this little white pill administering he has to do ,it ends up in my favor and i get the good OLD stuff…….

But all in all I’m getting back to feeling normal, and i figure after a few more days ill be ready to rumble. I  have been getting stronger at this whole hop-walk thing and showed him a thing or two the yester by fleeing out the gate with my guise of being the “poor old tired sick dog” and man did i fly . See the pet is putting together a garden for growing veggies and had the neighbor over grading the space where his raised beds will go and in between working and gossiping they shut the tractor off and when it wouldn’t start the neighbor had to go fetch his truck to jump start the big yellow beast and in doing so the gate was left open just a wee bit and off i flew .I ran and i mean ran (no hop-walking this time) all the way to Eddie’s house with the Pet in hot pursuit ( He didn’t have a chance and never would have caught me) but i made the mistake of exiting stage left into Eddie’s yard and was soon cornered and nabbed,but not having a leash he soon had to release me and prod me on home ,ha off i went again and left him in the dust and you know i would have made it all the way to the other corner had it not been for the neighbor across the street who headed me off at the pass so to speak , and with a leash hidden behind her back snagged me up and held me fast until the pet caught up with me. Well it was a bit of freedom and surely will make him think twice before presenting me with another chance to flee……………………………But that not what i came out here to tell you about and you knew it. What i came out here to tell you about is “The Wolf pack and the significance of the parable of the Trinity” The first i recon most folks know about and the later is a parable and as with parables i just can’t tell you whats its about and you will have to figure that one out for yourself.



So lets get on with the Wolf pack ( They say all us dogs came from the Wolves and being so decided i should edumacate myself to this phenomenon) ……. The wolf pack consist of wolves (duh) ….Canis Lupus …….which consists of usually the parents and off spring up to two to three year olds. Wolves are an extremely social animal. They exist as a social unit called a pack and thus we speak of “A pack of Wolves”. Wolves travel and hunt in a group and perform almost all other activities in the company of fellow wolves. Kinda like people except for the pet who for the most part has been what they term “A lone Wolf” though surely out of some choosing of his own not being anywhere near the Omega of the pack or the least Wolf you might say.The pack is usually a family group. It is made up of animals related to each other by blood and family ties of affection and mutual aid.The core of a pack is a mated pair of wolves – an adult male and female that have bred and produced young.The other members of the pack are their offspring ( young wolves ranging in age from pups to two and three-year-olds ) unlike these humans who seem to keep their young around for quite a while ,as i know of some who are pushing 60 and still living with the” A ” wolves .Within each pack is an elaborate hierarchy. It may consist of a single breeding pair, the Alpha male and female, a lower group consisting of non-breeding adults, each with its own ranking, a group of outcasts, and a group of immature wolves on their way up. Some of the younger wolves of the pack may leave to find vacant territory and a mate. Pack sizes vary, most packs have 6 or 7 members, although some may include as many as 15 wolves. The size depends on many variables including the current numbers of the wolf population, the abundance of food, and social factors within the wolf pack. Which must be the case also with humans, as i have seen houses packed with many times more then this. Individual wolves in a pack play different roles in relation to the others in the group. The parent wolves are the leaders of the pack – the alpha male and alpha female.The alpha male and female are the oldest members of the pack and the ones with the most experience in hunting, defending territory, and other important activities.The other pack members respect their positions and follow their leadership in almost all things, The alpha wolves are usually the ones to make decisions for the pack when the group should go out to hunt or move from one place to another.The other Pack members all have positions in the hierarchy inferior to those of the alpha male and female. The young adult wolves, who are the grown-up offspring of the alpha pair, have their own special roles under the leadership or their parents. Some of them are able to “boss around,” or dominate their sisters and brothers because they have established themselves as superior in some way. This superiority might be physically-larger size or greater strength , but it can be based on personality. Dominant wolves in the pack usually have more aggressive and forceful personalities than their relatives of the same age.The juveniles and pups-wolves under two years old do not occupy permanent positions within the pack hierarchy. They all take orders from their parents and older brothers and sisters, but their relationships with each other change frequently. During their play and other activities, they are constantly testing one another to find out who will eventually be “top wolf” in their age group…………..Relationships among creatures that live close together in groups are often very complicated, like members of a wolf pack. Studies of captive wolves and wolf packs in the wild have shown that many complex rules of behavior seem to govern the way that the animals relate us each other,another trait they seem to have in common with humans…………Rank order is established and maintained through a series of ritualized fights and posturing best described as ritual bluffing. Wolves prefer psychological warfare to physical confrontations, meaning that high-ranking status is based more on personality or attitude than on size or physical strength. Rank, who holds it, and how it is enforced varies widely between packs and between individual animals. In large packs full of easygoing wolves, or in a group of juvenile wolves, rank order may shift almost constantly, or even be circular ( animal A dominates animal B, who dominates animal C, who dominates animal A)…………Loss of rank can happen gradually or suddenly. An older wolf may simply choose to give way when an ambitious challenger presents itself, yielding its position without bloodshed. On the other hand, the challenged individual may choose to fight back, with varying degrees of intensity. While the majority of wolf aggression is non-damaging and ritualized, a high-stakes fight can easily result in injury for either or both parties. The loser of such a confrontation is frequently chased away from the pack or, rarely, may be killed.  Seems to me i like the small pack i have here in the badlands, as there is no fighting, dominating ,nor chasing off( they always seem to come running to chase me back) not to mention the bloodshed or death that can result from such.

So i recon i have it made as do most of the dogs in this world ,but don’t get me wrong ,there are still those humans who at the “drop of a hat” will take “Mans best friend” and drop him like”A hot rock” into the realms of what is known as “The Pound” .Now i have known a few dogs myself that have had such worthless humans who for whatever reason ,be it moving into a new house ,being tired of the responsibility of caring for or just being selfish and not giving a “Flying %$#@ and have came close to ending up in this said Pound,and were it not for the saving grace of animal lovers such as my pet would surely have ended up being “Put down” which is just a simple phrase for being KILLED .Ive known one who not once but twice was saved by my pet and who now is living a good life among responsible owners .And to think these same folk are left to breed and have their own packs.There should be a law against it.If your not responsible enough to take care of the pet you thought was “Such a cute puppy” until its dieing day (which stacked up to human life is not that long) then you surely shouldn’t be let to breed your own pack. Which leads me to”The significance of the Parable of the Trinity” .

Now i am not talking “The Father ,Son ,nor the Holy Ghost” nor “The first nor the last” nor even “The Alpha nor the Omega” even though it does quite nicely blend into the scheme of things in this whole “Wolf Pack” inspired jumble of words I’ve lain out here for you to peruse .I have a parable which is something I’ve learned from the pet and his song writing .Which in itself is nothing more then a short story that is jumbled up just enough to leave most folks wondering just what the heck is being said ,while at the same time leaving the smarter ones ,or merely the ones still inside the pack to decipher its meaning and thus benefit from the wiseness inclosed and never be left “Out in the cold” nor ” holding the bag” in this scene we call life .

The Trinity was nor is three but one in three or perhaps one with three which left to fend alone as “A lone Wolf” would surely whither and crumble as leaves from a tree in fall. But being bolstered with a forth or maybe even a fifth or sixth has slowly but moldered and festered and spread its decaying self among the basket, and surely left as such shall “Spoil the whole bunch”, and holding its being in limbo with the likes of comparisons to Sulpher or insecticidel soap has managed to remain just above a fly infested pile of dwindling compost.But as time will always surely tell, even the saved plant as such will weaken from the remedies and end up in the creosote dump…………..Its all in the word and thus not in the parable itself……

But what do i know I,m just a three legged dog named Rooster…………So remember ,keep chewing on that shoe.

6 Mar 2012

Chasing our tails?

Author: rooster | Filed under: Uncategorized

rooster chase tail,….2Just a few vids of me playing about the farm ,out here in the badlands…..         rooster snow vid


Its been some time now ,what with spring being in the air,and the fact that everything is coming alive around the farm here.


The pets been back at it working and getting ready for the weather that’s sure to come ,what ever it may be . These last few weeks have seen anything from 80 degree days to 20 degree nights , winds a little bit of rain and even a little 3 inch dusting of snow to brighten things up.I sure love the snow and sure miss living up north and having it snow feet instead of inches and being able to frolic around in it and roll and tumble. But such is life ,we take it as it comes and try to get by with it the best we can. Pet says we shall have a garden this year though it really don’t cream my cheese since i don’t recall anything other then them yucky vegetables coming from them other then when a load of cow manure gets piled up , oh how i love to roll in the manure and you know some of that stuff aint quite bad tasting ether.But all in all a garden is nothing but trouble to me always getting yelled at to stay out of, and not being understood that newly plowed dirt is the best thing to dig in, but i guess being a three legged dog won’t leave me to do much digging ,you just watch and see if i don’t get into a pickle or two before the growing season is over.


I have been doing great as far as the chemo goes ,no noticeable bad effects as of yet other then feeling a little weird and not having the greatest apatite for a few day  just after the whole drawn out  lets get it done already mess that will surely end up with a hole in the ground  tears my blanke,and a lot of beer.But i guess what matters most is the time between now and then,the hours and what we pack into them.Because what are the hours we spend now but memories later for those we leave.Each day is just a blessing being able to wake up and see the light and go about your day doing the things you love ,being just who you are and living the life that you choose.I’m not counting the days just yet and have my mind set on squeezing every bit of enjoyment out of each day i live .


I’m sure glad the pet is spending all the time and energy guiding my sorry three legged self  through this whole mess when others may have just left me to rot along the way .Dropped in a hole without the tears blanket or beers all alone to compost into the earth .But this whole regime of ten days over the hill for blood ten days for poison back and forth two hour mountainous drives and overnight stays seem to be getting the best of him or at least his maneuvering appendages.So he has been taking it easy ,writing a lot of songsand leaving the guitar in the case for the most part, just kicking it around the farm tending to light chores and trying to take it easy.I think he will survive this a whole lot better then I will as he has been through this a few times before,as for me everything seems a  first………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………but that’s not what i came to tell you about ,what i came to tell you about is a dark and sullen room far away in the bowels of  some swank mansion nestled amongst the trees of some unknown to the vast world tax exempt bought and paid for with money that don,t even exist Island. And in this vast wasteland of finely polished oaken boards set in the middle  away from all the bookshelf lined walls its shine gleaming through the veil of hazy mega dollar Cuban smoke sat a large and quite stately table.If you could call it just such being constructed of single slabs of exotic wood which in of itself would land a regular Joe in the hoosegow for a very long time just having the scant bit of to build a small guitar,that sat upon legs that resembled huge clawed tiger feet that must have weighed into the hundreds of pounds. And around this table sat a group of men .Business men,rich men,VERY rich men,who in the course of their lives have accumulated vast fortunes through the acts of buying and selling money and war.

Through the ages ,this group of men,some members of old money families,have increased their fortunes by the means of manipulating the economy, through the lending of moneys from their very own reserve to country’s who already cannot sustain even the interest on the loans that keep them afloat while with such vast holdings cause the rise and fall of the mighty dollar to the point that it breaks  lenders and leave them in utter chaos .Leaving  companies owned by these very same men the opportunity to exploit these torn countries and leave them in ruins while lining their pockets with yet more of the wealth of even the poorest of nations. And at the same time now and over the years have through the use of planned and executed events  drawn this country into wars that consume the lives of the young while fueling  through the sales of weapons of war  the greed and ravenous feeding  that nourishes these very same men.Trading money for death and at times reaping from both sides of the battle while the bodies stack higher.

Now they have you in a war on terror.A war that will never end .And with this war on terror, they have also taken away your  rights and continue to daily. In the guise of protection the common Joe has lost much.Maybe some day perhaps before this country we all live in collapses ,these humans can figure a way to do away with this room and its inhabitants and run this country in a way that everyone can reap the harvest and none shall be taken advantage of and go without.

These men sit around this table , and make the decisions that effect the vast majority of the world. Orchestrating their symphony of destruction,while reaping the spoils of war death and turmoil,while having not the slightest clue that they won’t be able to take any of their riches with them when the whole shithouse goes up in flames?………….. but what do i know, I’m just a three legged dog name Rooster……..remember , keep chewing on that shoe…..


19 Feb 2012

But three scant strands

Author: rooster | Filed under: Uncategorized

The pet wanted me to post this for him ,as from dog to dog it has always weighed on him………..

Do youthink this green shirt makes my butt look big?




Sometimes i feel as though my life is hanging by a very thin string , the rope of my youth having dwindled down to just a few scant strands.

The years of hanging on that rope and the load of stupidity I had weighted it down with has severed the cords alas until there are but three

And even though over these last few years i have lightened that load and ceased my senseless swaying and tugging those three strands weaken.

Held together by nothing more then faith and good deeds i simply hang and slowly sway and bide my time awaiting that plucking of the three.

Knowing that each day that passes draws me nearer to the end of my sway and closer to that last final pluck and inevitable fall to my end .

And as upon this thin line I hang the greatest pain and suffering is the thought that when I fall no one will think to take care of my dog .

Well well well ,it’s been a wee bit of ,well time,since I’ve hooked up the pet and perused his cerebral vestige, and peeked into the realms of the darker hidden file cabinets and plucked forth a few things to toss inside this simple canine mind of mine to and help me cruise on through the evening and maybe even make me in a very distinguished and upright Dogtown way chortle……………Didn’t seem to run into much in the lines of anything that might in the least bring forth a gleeful guffaw ,and so i figured i would get right to the side-dish of this whole foul song and dance that, has become so much a part of my once slow and easy going run of the mill canine existence.

This whole Chemo Carboplantin ,poison the dividing cells while poisoning me in the hopes that we kill all the bad fish in the pond while leaving the good ones, laced with the humiliating shaving of the legs , Elizabethan collar ,and the ever so “I’ll turn my head the other way ,lemme know when your done” Phlebotomy rituals have began to quite literally suck……..But we are now to the middle point(if the effects of this poison don,t start rotting my insides) or the next to the last (if my innards take an “exit stage left ” as (if my perusing of the pets brains are right) Snagglepuss used to say ( I think he was a pink cat,go figure) so i recon, as well as a dog can recon(and I do quite well ,thank you) that we are nearing the beginning of the path that leads to the clearing . The only thing now left to question (without any real pact and factual answers) is , just how long will this path be ,and just how many rocks will be strewn along its route for me to stumble across?

It seems that the paths we all must trod are oh so different ,and as many other things in life, leave us to wonder just what and how much we can change the outcome of all these messes with just a little faith ,a  lot of love and a whole big wheelbarrow full of patience?

So my hopes are high ,though the outcome of so many cases such as mine are dire .I can only trudge on and give this my best shot ,after all it is my life we are talking about ,and not just some long lost bone in the ground simple frustration.And just the positive thinking and simple but costly procedures have already ,and will in my estimate extend my life and provide  me a comfortable and though not so easy trek along this path upon which head i now stand,three legged or not……….. But that’s not what i came to tell you about (but you knew this in the beginning) what i came to tell you about is HypoChristians……….……I know its not officially a word ,but they are out there ,and i have seen them ,and they are not me……..

I guess i will have to take you back in time to another place and time in the past ( though not so far ,as a dog only lives so long ) when out walking the pet on the streets of an unnamed and quite out of the way city ,that often beckons me in my dreams ,and calls to me as the wild unto a wolf, those unknown yearnings and leanings that make us canine as well as this vast human race tick and tock along their simple journeys through life . The pet had me walk through town with him to dry……as I had just undertaken the only thing even remotely close to this whole intercity animal hospital fiasco that I’ve been caught up in lately ,which was a dog bath and grooming….and given the simple system of things as such ,it was custom to be dropped off at the groomers to be prettied up (while the pet foraged in the local packaged food establishment) and then set free ( as far as a leash will allow) to walk through the fore unmentioned town and watch the pet intermingle with animals of his own species ,while picking up small trinkets and baubles and ending up at last on the patio section of a fine and outstanding Mexican food eatery. You see I’m a service dog , and in return for me helping out my pet human I am allowed entry to many different establishments that mainly cater to feeding these humans. But once again I’m getting ahead of myself…… As we walked down the street we happened to pass the towns one and only Christian book store ,and loving books as well as the Christ himself my pet decided to venture forth into the inner regions of said literary business ,and while accessing the quite non functioning wheelchair ramp and ever so stuck and complicated ,bell ringing glass and metal door a hand outstretched and assisted us (though the pet is known to simply refuse and most times himself offer such services) and attached to the hand was the most sinister looking person i have had the displeasure of ever laying my lazy dog eyes upon.Having perused the pets brains many times through CTP ( see dogblogging) i have come to many files ,stored away of another time when the pet had gazed upon the flat screened glass alters ,and watch what i have come to know as cartoons,and i love to watch the people we intermingle with and pair them up with the characters in these CARTOONS( I’ve even seen one about a Mareema Herd Protection Dog ,such as me ,guarding the flock of sheep from a whiley old coyote) and while looking up at this being connected to the hand that was offering assistance, I remembered many characters fitting his rat looking description.. you know the snidely type ,with pin strip mustache and evil piercing ever twitching beady little varmint eyes , along with the whiny snively you just know nothing good can come from this voice .Well twas at that precise moment that this sinister human ask in his whiny snively voice “Can I help you with something?” to which the pet answered as always (hating to have the pleasure of browsing taken away, by some ever so helpful, but ever so uninformed  run of the mill minimum wage assistance) “No thank you ,just looking about” To which the rat looking man then closed in and assumed a stance that brought forth the thought that at any moment he would pull up his  sleeve ,which would be covered in ,and offer to sell me a quite used and quite hot(as in stolen ) watch. But twas not the case in this case ,and the ratman said okay I will leave you to browse ,and if i can help you find anything just holler( though they really don,t mean holler ,as I’ve seen many a human thrown out of said businesses for just that simple mistake) so browse we did ( or the pet did ,as i have not the reasoning nor the patience to browse readable material) .Now having many Bibles and a vast library or reading material my pet was finished in no time and was heading for the door when the rat man appeared as if from the heavens  above and started what would then become his message , his spiel ,his slime behind the front of what at first appeared to be a simple and helpful quiet Christian book store. He first asked in his little whiny rat like voice “Do you partake?” to which my pet answered “In what?’  to which the ratman then handed my pet what looked to be a tract or brochure of Christian literature ,and when my pet took the tract it unfolded like a picture postcard accordion style pamphlet that zipped and zinged downward towards the floor and beheld not quaint little cards reading such phrases or quotes as “The lord is good” nor “What would Jesus do?” nor even “One set of footsteps in the sand” but pockets , yes pockets ,like some over sized credit card holder ,with pockets to slip your cards into ,but instead of credit cards ,Christian tracts or even post cards the pockets were filled with what appeared to be DRUGS ,yes drugs . As the pamphlet unfolded the ratman was already into his speech about how this one would take you up ,while this one would take you down ,and this one here would leave you right in the middle ,as opposed to this ne which would have you CLIMBING THE WALLS. Well my pet then knew he was in the wrong place and that this saintly looking business was nothing more then a front for some sinister and evil drug dealer ,disguising himself as a mild mannered everyday hawker of the Christian belief.Well my pet did holler ,he said “what in the hell do you think you’re doing ,hiding behind the likes of Jesus and the Christian faith ,to deal your fricking drugs and use this whole place as what? A fricking tax right off?”To with which we abruptly headed for the door ………….the whole time mumbling “Hypochristians , what gall, using the likes of God and the Good book to hide behind ,while peddling what apears to be any substance known to man to alter his mind”……………we quickly left, finished up our visit to town (which did indeed end at the fine Mexican food place,with me eating a Cevehce Tostado) and headed back up the long drive to our quaint little piece of pleasant peace……………………

Now I’m just a dog ,and being such i don’t really go for nor understand this whole religion thing all these humans are killing each other about ,but man when i wanna bag of marbles i go to the marble store and when i get to the marble store i expect to see and be surrounded by marbles ,not rats with drugs . But then again what do i know ? I’m just a three legged dog named Rooster .

Remember ,keep chewing on that shoe.






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14 Feb 2012

Over the hills and to the ……. yeah you know…….

Author: rooster | Filed under: Uncategorized

Once again over the hills we head for the 75 mile three day event of fasting needle pricking and that nasty old poison they keep filling me with.But at least this time there will be snow to look at as we had a storm last evening that left a bit of snow here at 3500 feet and we still have to make the 5100 foot summit ,so it will be nice views from my double window seat in the doghouse on wheels . wish me luck……..

10 Feb 2012

Maricopa Munchkins or how i got lost in the dark…..

Author: rooster | Filed under: Uncategorized

Well I don,t even know how to start this dogblog beings so much has transpired since i last took control of the pet and ever so humbly mused the blues for the folks that really peruse these twisted and quite pararaghless oft times winded rantings about this rather quiet and simple life i lead in the canine race to what i hope will if not surpass then at least equal this grand game of existence that I have been so blessedly granted with. But i recon i should start at the end and work my way back to the beginning and therefore leave the twist to ripen as it may and sink its teeth when the setting is much more aromatic in the sense that moldering stew sets ones thinking not along the lines of what a fine and pleasant meal its earlier known existence presented but more along the lines of what a nasty dirty job does now bestow oneself in cleaning up of that whole foul  and retched mess. So i ended up sitting or quite really standing in between half squatting face to face and sometimes rear to face and verse visa in the dark with lights flashing all about and whistles and swoops and whines on Eddie’s side yard with a fowl smelling territorial marking male member of that nasty whiny fur-ball spewing sharp claw welding family feline, and to think it all just started out as an innocent hop-walk to the mail box and back with my usual sniffs and half squats of said territorial markings along with my “oh I’m so tired and cant make it anymore can we just go see Bonnie” feigns and ended up an exciting and quite eventful evening for the whole neighborhood though my pet looked quite worried there for a while until he finally figured out what fun was to be had there in the dark on the side yard. Okay I guess I’m getting over your heads out there so I’ll set down in easy humanly understanding words the fact that while on our way back i really truly (wink ,wink) exhausted myself beyond the boundaries of what my simple canine body could handle and lay down at the side of the road (not even thinking that at any minute our crazy no holba neighbor lady from down at the end of the street could come careening around the corner on two wheels and squish my head as flat as the rabbit who lay out here this last past summer for a few days stinking up a storm and breeding nasty fly larva until my pet moved it to the shade of Eddie’s tree to decompose into fertilizer if the coyotes didn’t get it first) and panted. My pet prodded me and tried his whole “there it is lets get he rabbit” trick and even a few “there’s that cat ” taunts to no avail,so off he headed without me, leaving me to lay panting in the dark while he rolled his butt home and fetched the quad to come and fetch me the faithful fetcher from my exhausting dilemma . Well low and behold when he got back i was gone and he thought “where could he have gone? , it took less then two minutes to roll down and get on the ATV and ride back to he rescue” ,so off he rides swinging his quad here and there trying to light up the shadows and see just where it was i was hiding ,up and down the road over to Bonnie’s pets home and next thing ya know they are all out on quads and cars calling and flashing lights and riding about like there was some real danger about to befall us all and to tell you the truth they even had me quite worried there for a while which is hard since a dog don’t really worry. But low and behold amidst the thoughts of me all strangled up caught on god knows whatever or drug off by a very large and monstrous pack of coyotes my pet swung his lights towards Eddies house and there i stood fully lite up head to head with a no hobla  territorial marker of the feline species( once he left to get the quad what should befall a fine and exhausted canine such as I but the chance by a chance that right across the street in front of Mrs, Edwards house strolled a cat, and exhausted or not up i rose and bolted across the street and chased that mangy feline to the side yard of Eddies house) . So now all the fun was over and i was rounded up and made to crawl up onto the quad and after all the human thanks and goodbyes was whisked home to a full bowl of plop. But like you all should recon that’s not what i came to really tell you about ,what i came to ell you about is the ride on the big green machine me and the pet took the other day .See once and again he fires up that big green Russian machine and takes off with a roar and every once and again he suits me up in my riding harness and up i get into sidecar and away we fly.Well this trip we headed up Quatel canyon road and took a quick and really uneventful but most beautiful jaunt a little ways up Blue rock canyon and around by the quail guzzler (another time ) and on back out to the main road.Well the pet had been wanting to check out another road opposite of the mine road and so after passing it up we flipped a quick bitch (as you humans say) and headed up this as yet unknown road ,and it was a pretty good ride with a few dry river crossings and a few nice whoop-de-doos and even the beautiful site of a covey of quails crossing the road in front of us assuring the pet that another round of breeding would bestow yet another game filled summer bonanza, and off in heaven we both where until we spotted a very small pet human child standing in the road in front of us ,so we slowed down and stopped and for a second or two just stared at what seemed to be a young boy straight out of some Charles Dickens novel or maybe a lone transplanted character from` Lord of the fly’s’ , my pet later said he thought the little street urchin looking ragtag bundle of rags was gonna present a bowl and ask”may i please have more porridge sir?” but instead he said in a very un-English and very much southern California accented froggy type voice “You F&%$#rs got any duct tape?”,well that just about blew my pets mind and thinking back through all the times of his life never had he been bestowed with such an eloquent and Hollywood type of introduction. So the pet says “yeah i always carry the stuff ,along with plenty of SLIME and a whole array of tools,why whats up?” to with which the little froggy voiced urchin replied” F&%$ing heaters broke” to with which my pet actually burst into laughter at which the heavens seemed to open up and out of the surrounding chaparral appeared more then a dozen of these same filthy clothed dirty faced foul mouthed characters  as if from some vast and far off dream they all proceeded to jump and shout and rant and rave how this BLEEPING world had never understood them and how the BLEEPING people should take more care in crossing heir paths and how a person could get his BLEEPING tongue cut out laughing at what appeared to be some Dickens ,Golden type Children of the corn rampaging rascals on the warpath. So out shouts my pet “Let me see this F%$#ing heater cause i can fix anything” to with which they all surrounded my pet and actually lifted him up off the green machine and carried him away into the woods down a little scant trail strewn about with remnants of old cars and kitchen appliances and discarded junk in various degrees of decomposition and rounding the bend came upon a rather crudely put together abode that would in anyone’s opinion fit right into the midst of tales of these aforementioned and forgone literaturest of old or Takilma Oregon which ever you prefer, not so much built but rather sculpted out of wood and tin and pieces of said discarded appliances ,bolstered up with nails and screws of every shape and form ,bailing wire ,hog wire and bless Red Greens heart ,duct tape. The windows were made out of the doors from washing machines and the front glass and frames of old discarded television sets and the front door appeared to be the back fold-down door and electric sliding window( in the up position ) from a early 70s Ford Country Squire wagon ,with the simulated wood-grain siding still intact.So the pet was led (all of this was later relayed to me ,beings i was strapped into the sidecar and couldn’t release myself to follow)  in through this den of raggedness and winced at the scraping sound the giant metal hoops used for hinges made as the door was opened and after entering then again closed. The inside of the place was not as bad as the outside seemed, maybe just for the fact that the discarded junk inside was all seemingly assembled into the neatest and quaintest bit of effects. Tables and beds , chairs and windowsills, were all crafted with what appeared to him the utmost of care from trash into beauty. Soon the pet was taken to “The F%$#ing heater” which appeared to be none other then a( 50s model Frigidaire, freezer on the bottom refrigerator) propped up on bricks with the whole back fin assembly bolstered with what appeared to be 2 inch cast iron pipe running a crude but eccentric  spiral that with all the bailing wire and duct tape and various bits of coat hanger and electrical wire resembled a web constructed by a spider with a obvious drug problem, From the lowest end of said pipe was duct taped on one and hose clamped on the other of which seemed to him to be an inlet and outlet for this whole very dangerous looking mess a pair of 2 inch rubber hoses that then abruptly disappeared into the ground. My pet sat bewildered and shook his head as he gazed about the room ,and there tucked away in the corner sat a stout tho rusting but still quite functional Hamilton Wood Stove (Hamilton county Ohio) with stove pipe intact and attached ,but before he could open his mouth to say LICK-IT-E-SPLIT the rag tag group rolled him out across the floor and out what appeared to be the back door (which consisted of the door to the before said refrigerator pivoting from the top pendulum style and held by a very large lag bolt) and across a very clean and almost marble smooth dirt floor patio (having been swept so many times the clay dirt now actually shined and reflected as he rolled across it) to none other then a 1972 Cadillac El Dorado which missing its front left wheel and hub assembly was sitting atop an over turned run of the mill “Art Deco” kitchen table, affixed to the front left side of the bumper and frame just behind the fender well,  and out of from under the wheel well protruded those same 2 inch rubber hoses (one of which had a large nasty gash) which like before abruptly disappeared into the ground.The little froggy voiced urchin began his spiel about how” the motor heats the water and the water runs through the water pump and into the hoses then travels down into he ground and reappears in the living room and is connected to the heater core behind the F&%$ing heater” , so my pet lost it and yelled “its not a F%$#ing heater its a F%$#ing refrigerator” and continued with “The heater is in the corner cold as ice” to which the urchin replied “But all we need is your duct tape to fix the hose”, to which the pet replied “But this is all crazy ,why use a Caddy-Fridgidar monstrosity of a contraption for heating when you could just use that fine Hamilton Wood Stove sitting in the corner?” to which was replied “It don’t work ,we tried all the nobs on it and nothing ever happens” to which the pet said ” You gotta stick wood in it and light a fire” to which was replied “OH”. Having about had it by now the pet headed across the patio and for the door to rid himself of this whole preposterous mess and the urchins grabbed him and they hauled him back and yelled “Fix the F&%$ing heater ” and he yelled “No go chop down some wood and use the wood stove like its supposed to be used” and they yelled back “No you arnt going anywhere until you fix the F%$#ing heater” .So thinking quick the pet glanced the chance and spying a scant trail off towards the direction of the Green machine he bolted ,over the sage brush and through the stickers yelling that rebel yell he rolled and popped out on the road just a mere ten feet from  me and the Green machine, out of the chair he jumped and slinging the chair right on top of me he wasted no time in starting up them twin opposeds and cramming that baby into gear the whole time being hoarded and grabbed and prodded at by this whole group of nasty little bassackward beings from a storybook dream . We started off slowly having a bit of trouble maneuvering over a few legs and full bodies of these Maricopa Munchkins and thinking we had finally gotten away i sighed in relief only to feel my one good leg a grasp and being pulled by one of these Children of the corn ,Chucky, Pet cemetery nightmares ,and as well as i could i pulled in return while chomping down on its foul and dirty smelling hand and the more i chewed and pulled the more it pulled ,and then i noticed my pet looking down at me while shifting gears ,watching me helpless as my leg was being pulled just like I’m pulling yours………..Remember ,keep chewing on that shoe………